Not Myself
by animerox023
Summary: Takes place S3E22. It's a standoff between the Nogitsune and Derek, when the Nogitsune was paralyzed with Kanima venom. Derek just wants his Stiles back. The Nogitsune plans to hang on for as long as possible, with one particular goal in mind. Take Derek for himself. Oneshot.


**This is something that has been on my mind so I decided to write it out and set it free. I just wanted to explore Sterek with the nogitsune in play. if you like it great! If you don't then that's okay too. Enjoy!**

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Everyone looked at him like a ticking time bomb. One wrong move and they were done. But there was nothing to fear since he was currently paralyzed from the Kanima venom and his mouth was covered by a piece of duck tape, courtesy of Deaton. He watched them with cold eyes and a dark expression. Despite the fact he couldn't move they still felt as if he had them exactly where he wanted them. The only person who dared to sit in the same room as him had a cold and distant expression on his face, the same one he has used ever since his family burned. The same mask that turned colder and harder as betrayal after betrayal ripped his life apart with no one to help him pick up the shattered pieces…until he met Stiles.

He didn't know if it was Stiles's annoying ability to stick his nose in things he shouldn't or his extremely annoying ability to never know when to shut up. But Derek could honestly admit, to himself, that those were some of the things he loved about the quirky teenager. Derek loved how embarrassed he could make the boy simply by staring at him. How Stiles would immediately get a little red in the face and start stuttering until Derek couldn't understand a syllable of what he was saying. Derek loved how, despite what he gets himself into, Stiles would be waiting with some sarcastic remark of how stupid he was for doing things alone or for keeping things to himself instead of sharing and using 'teamwork'. Stiles was the only one he would accept such criticism from, the others would be torn a part and thrown over the ledge outside his loft. But Derek hasn't heard any sarcastic remarks for weeks. He no longer gets to hear the cute stutter he has grown to adore over the last couple of years. Derek doesn't know if he'll ever hear them again. The thing across from him looks like Stiles, sounds like him, sometimes talks like him, but Derek sees the darkness in those usually bright brown eyes. Derek sees the trickster behind the mask of the teenage boy. The teenage boy Derek happens to love.

Derek had his arms crossed over his chest, sitting on a dining chair across from the dark spirit. The Nogitsune stared straight at Derek with a look that says, 'Is staring really going to do anything for you?' Derek didn't utter a sound but even if he wanted to he didn't know what to say. The dark fox would simply play off his anger and play with his mind like he has done in the past encounters. He would torture him with the fact that Stiles was barely hanging on. That he was screaming for Derek to come and save him. It would break Derek's world all over again. The creak of a floorboard alerted both predators to someone walking in the room. Melissa walked in with a roll of bandages in her hand, caution and fear was written all over her face.

"I-I just need to uh put the bandages on his wound. Also Scott and Lydia went to go get Peter while Deaton is going to try and gather more information to help Stiles. I need to go to the hospital." She only looked at Derek as she said this. She couldn't bear to see Stiles, practically her second child, have such a look on his face. Derek simply held out his hand towards the bandages.

"I'll bandage him." Melissa looked unsure but eventually handed them over to him and walked out the door, leaving only Derek and 'Stiles' to themselves. Derek stood up and walked closer to the being that was Stiles but at the moment wasn't Stiles. The dark eyes simply watched him walk closer with caution and Derek swore he saw amusement flash through those eyes. Derek tore his gaze from the dark fox as he got down on his knees in front of him. Derek carefully lifted up the bloody and torn shirt that 'Stiles' wore and looked at the wound. The wound stretched across 'Stiles's' lower abdomen and seemed to be healing nicely but Derek hated to see it there. Hated that Stiles was in this position in the first place. Hated him self for not protecting Stiles better. Derek hated the Nogitsune with his entire being. Derek unrolled the bandages and got to work wrapping them around the wound. He could feel his hands slightly tingle from touching Stiles's skin. The last time he had any contact with Stiles like this was the night before he checked himself into Eichen House. Derek had tried for days to convince him not to go in there. That he could help Stiles better than him going to a mental institution where he could hurt himself or others. Stiles had argued against him the entire time saying that if he didn't go he would only put the others and myself in constant danger. He believed that being in the institution would give him less access to dangerous materials and he would be constantly monitored so nothing bad would happen. The night before he went Stiles had begged Derek to stay with him, but Derek would have done so anyway. They spent the night wrapped in each other's arms trying to soak up what little time they had together. Derek finished the wrapping when he smelled something wet and salty. He looked up and he almost stopped breathing. Bright brown eyes captured his gaze with tears rushing out of them. 'Stiles' was sobbing and trying to say something but the duck tape prevented it from being clear.

"Stiles?" Derek asked. The boy in front of him nodded and tried to speak louder. Derek immediately lifted his hand towards the tape but hesitated.

'_Is this really Stiles? Or is this the Nogitsune? What's real?'_ He stared into 'Stiles's' eyes again and tried to see if his answer was there. They looked like Stiles's eyes, they had the same shine to them, the same color, and Derek couldn't find the dark expression that was in there a few minutes ago. Derek didn't know if he should take the risk or not.

'_This could be the only chance I have.' _Derek made up his mind and gently took the tape off 'Stiles's' mouth.

"D-Derek? I-I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry." Derek lunged forward and caught Stiles's lips with his own.

"It's okay. It wasn't you. It wasn't you." Derek chanted these words as he continued to attack Stiles's lips. It felt so good to kiss him again. Stiles's kissed him back as the tears continued to roll down his face. When Derek was done, claiming what was his, he rested his forehead against Stiles and looked into his eyes. Derek froze at the sight of them. Stiles's stared up at him amused and disappointed.

"Really Derek? I expected Melissa to be the one to crack at the sight of tears but you? I have say I'm a little disappointed in you Derek. But you are a good kisser, I'll give you that." Derek moved his hands from 'Stiles's' face to his throat and applied some pressure.

"Give him back to me." Derek demanded with a bit of a growl in his voice. 'Stiles' looked at him with the expression of pure hurt but Derek could see the dark being behind the mask.

"What's wrong Derek? Am I not good enough for you? Technically I **am** him. I know every thought he's ever had, every memory, every feeling, and every fantasy. I didn't know such a young mind could be so filled with so many S & M thoughts, all of them include you."

"You are _**not **_him. You're nothing like him." Derek was losing it. He was giving him exactly what he wanted, pain.

"Well I do have to say that things are getting quieter these last few days in his head. He doesn't talk as much as he used to. I think he's getting a little pale too. Probably from lack of sleep." Derek's eyes widened; his grip tightening around the fox's throat.

'_Is Stiles dead?'_

"Oh don't look so sad. He's still alive…for now. Besides you'll still have me even if he does. What do you say Derek? I can see us working out. The thing I like about you the most is the chaos you hide inside of you. So much anger, pain, and hatred wrapped inside a demigod like you. I almost can't help myself." Eyes filled with lust and want roam over Derek's face and body. Oh how much fun this was turning out to be.

"Give him back to me now!" Derek growled as his claws and fangs lengthened, electric blue eyes shining.

"Such a beautiful sight. I love the taste of your bloodlust, so very addicting. And I do love the color of your eyes when you turn wolf. The one thing about you that truly defines what a monster you really are." The fox laughs out of amusement at the situation.

"This is exactly why I chose such a weak and pathetic human, it's because of you Derek." He whispered. Derek's body went still and his grip around 'Stile's' throat loosened.

"Yes Derek. I picked Stiles because of you. I wanted to get closer to you so I could taste the emotions you try to desperately lock away inside of you. I wanted to break you down to your lowest point and watch you drown in darkness. Then I would take what was left of you and make you mine." Derek stood completely still trying to focus on his breathing.

It's all his fault.

It's his fault for the recent deaths.

It's his fault for putting everyone in danger.

It's his fault that Stiles was dying.

"He has tried so hard to stop me from taking you. He has tried to resist me every step of the way. He's dying for you Derek. And when he does I'm going to be the only thing you will have left of him." 'Stiles' no longer had any emotion in his face or his eyes. He meant every word.

Derek's head was spinning. The air was getting thin. The only thing he could focus on was the being in front of him. The monster that was killing the boy he loves from the inside out. Derek's breathing became harsh and his hands began to tremble. The Nogitsune looked at him through the brown eyes Derek couldn't go a day without seeing but they weren't the same. This thing wasn't Stiles. This wasn't Stiles. Derek's anger boiled and bubbled, rising to the surface. He gripped the neck again and squeezed as hard as he could, releasing roars of pain, hurt, and hate. Hands grabbed at him and he was pulled away from 'Stiles'. He struggled the way out of the house, the sound of laughter tormenting him as he was carried off.


End file.
